Finding my way

I feel myself slipping away. The trappings of worldly pleasures distract me from the bigger picture.

I'm struggling to find my place in this world. I do not wish to conform, but I do not wish to be an outcast. I want to stand out and yet be accepted. Surely this is a contradiction?!

I need to find my way back to the Teachings. To rediscover my conviction. The scent of dried bo leaves in my copy of the Dhammapada takes my mind back to Anuradhapura, and the tranquillity I felt at Ruwanweliseya. I need to find that calm again.

My mother has stopped telling me to meditate. And now I think I'm ready to start meditating. For real this time.

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!

Mettā, anyone?

I just followed a 35 minute meditation session. My mind wandered a lot more than I'd envisaged, but I'm glad I've at least started. I would like to develop this meditation into a habit. We shall see.

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!

Religious Tolerance?

What is religious tolerance? Is it possible to be tolerant about a religion that you perceive as inferior to your own? This troubles me.

As I see it, a lot of people confuse 'religious tolerance' with 'pity'. A lot of people think that those who don't follow their own religion need to be saved. And some of those who don't follow any religion seem to revel in religion-bashing. What's the point? What does anyone stand to gain by ridiculing someone else's beliefs? What gives us the right to stand atop the moral pedestal and point and laugh at everyone below? Aren't we all in the same boat, just trying to find our own way of making it in this maze of life?

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!

Wake-up call

Sometimes it takes a shock to the system to set everything right. Those perceived as being immortal must disprove that notion, in order for us to accept that everything is impermanent.

Have I woken up? We shall see.

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!

Practise what you preach

Why is it so difficult? I preach the benefits of equanimity to others, and then let others get me down. Why am I so susceptible to others' criticism? I do not feel I have done anything wrong, and yet I feel victimised. Still, I know that allowing myself to feel victimised is giving others permission to do so. I have made a judgment I know to be right...why is it so difficult to be proud of my decision?

I know nothing good in this world comes easy, but does it have to be this difficult? Sometimes I wonder...

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!

Sammā diţţi vs. Mityā diţţi...

Blind faith is something that's generally frowned upon in Buddhism. To quote Ven. Rahula in his What The Buddha Taught,

"Almost all religions are built on faith - rather 'blind' faith it would seem. But in Buddhism emphasis is laid on 'seeing', knowing, understanding, and not on faith, or belief. In Buddhist texts there is a word saddhā which is usually translated as 'faith' or 'belief'. But saddhā is not 'faith' as such, but rather 'confidence' born out of conviction."

So how do we develop saddhā? How can we be sure that our convictions are true? How can we be sure that we have understood the Dhamma the way it was intended to be interpreted? Misinterpretation is the cause of so many rifts in other religious groups that the need for right understanding (sammā diţţi; antonym: mityā diţţi) is apparent.

I like to think that I understand quite a bit of basic Buddhism...but the more and more I think about it, the more the question "what if I have understood this concept through rationalisation and not through sammā diţţi?" takes over my mind. It is an unnerving thought. Naturally it is more an issue in concepts that are difficult to comprehend (such as reincarnation), but it is an issue nonetheless.

It's not that I'm doubting what has been taught - that will not happen. However, in my quest to better my understanding of my own convictions, I feel slightly 'exposed' to question. I guess this is part of the process of understanding but still, I am confused.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!

Baby Steps

I like to tell myself "I will meditate daily", "I will read the Dhammapada on a regular basis", "I will attend more Buddhist talks at university"...But I don't like to break promises. The frustration and disappointment that ensues brings home a sense of failure, and thereby negates the initial purpose of the promise. So I must be content with 'baby steps': one day at a time, one hour at a time...one moment at a time. May I live in the moment - not dwell in the past, nor fear the future, but enjoy the present.

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!

All journeys begin with a single step

This is my first.

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!