Home Improvements

I try to keep my emotions in check. Always. Not that I suppress them (which is an oft-mistaken view of Buddhism), but I try not to let my emotions get to a level where they consume me. Sometimes, I falter. I get upset, or angry, or annoyed...I suppose we all do. The problem with me, is that I get annoyed that I'm upset/angry/annoyed. I berate myself for letting my emotions get the better of me. Obviously this doesn't bode well for moving on, because then I just get depressed about not being able to counter my emotions and then I feel a failure and so on, so forth...a downward spiral ensues. So I have to catch myself, at some point...any point. I have to remember to love myself, and tell myself not to admonish my conscience for faltering. I have to coax myself into a positive state of mind, so that I can accept my reaction, learn from it and move on.

My mother says I'm one of the few people she knows who's actually actively trying to improve themselves. Do so many of us actually think we are perfect? Or do we choose to use our imperfections as an excuse for failure? I choose to use my imperfections as a starting point for change...to make little alterations here and there to my temperament. Home improvements, as it were.

I hope I'm not the only one.

Sabbe sattā bhavantu sukhitattā!